Not All Hearts Heal
by Arianator17
Summary: Cat's now a freshman in high school and when she meets a gorgeous Junior named Jade, she would do anything to have her. The thing is, Jade's heart still belongs to someone else.
1. Chapter 1: The Girl in Black

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, and I never will :(**

**A/N: Hey guys! A lot has happened since the beginning of the school year and I feel like I need to get it all off my chest. I've decided to get it all out by writing a story about it and hopefully it's a good! So, here it goes. Welcome to my personal life, but in the victorious world instead. It's in Cat's point of view by the way, and instead of her being the same age as Jade, Beck, Andre and everyone else, who are Juniors in my story, she is a freshman. Also, there's going to be some characters that I made up. Sorry, I'm trying to make this as close to how everything really happened as I can, but I'm also trying to blend victorious in with it. It could either come together smoothly, or it could turn into a huge mess. Oh and just a warning! It will most likely, not have a happy ending. Haha, enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER 1: The Girl In Black**

I wandered the halls looking for my first class. It was my first day of high school and I was a freshman. I was very excited though because I had been accepted to the most amazing school ever! I got into Hollywood Arts! Hollywood Arts is a performing arts high school in Las Angeles. As I walked through the hallway, I couldn't stop focussing on the bright colors around me. All the lockers were decorated with art, and even the people looked like art themselves! There was a smile on just about everyone's face and it made my face gleam with excitement.

Music flooded the school and it made me skip to my class. My skirt and pony tail bounced along with me as I entered the classroom. My first class was Vocal, and I was so excited! I love singing so much and I knew that everyone in the class would love it too. In middle school, everyone thought performing arts was stupid, but now I'm in a place where performing is everything!

I was the first one to walk into the classroom and the teacher greeted me with a warm smile. He had short, grey hair, and big bushy eyebrows. In some ways, he reminded me of Santa Clause without the beard. He gave me a sheet of paper with music on it. At the top it said "O'Danny Boy". I smiled when I read the title. I absolutely love this song! The choir director told me that we'd be singing it for him to see what voice part we were in. I already knew I'd be in soprano though because I can sing very high.

I looked around the room to pick a place to sit. On one sit of the room, there were three rows of black chairs. On the other side of the room, there were risers. Then, in the front, there was a gorgeous grand piano. I took a seat in the first row of the black chairs.

As I read through the lyrics, a girl sat next to me. I looked up and said "Hi! I'm Cat!" She smiled back and said, "Hey Cat, my name's Tori!" She shook my hand and I giggled. Tori was a Junior, but she was really nice! I would've thought that all the upperclassmen would be mean and stuff! It was really weird to have older people in the same classes as me though because I'm used to sharing classes with people in the same grade as me.

Tori told me a lot of things about the school, like the different events that will occur throughout the school year, and about the different teachers. The chorus teacher's name was apparently Mr. Kay. She asked me what my schedule was and I found out that we have a lot of classes together! I'm so happy that I'd know someone.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang behind me. I jumped and turned around. A girl dressed in black had kicked a chair and went and sat in the risers that were on the other side of the classroom. "Hey Vega! Kay wants us upperclassmen on the risers. Apparently we're the only Juniors in here." Her voice seemed harsh, but there was some sort of softness to it at the same time. It reminded me of a baby lion trying to roar and sound scary, but failing. Tori stood up and said, "Sorry, we can talk later!". She walked over to the risers and sat next to the girl in black. I started to study the girl. She had dark hair with streaks of purple in it. There was a piercing on her eyebrow, nose, and bottom lip. The lip piercing caused me to pause and examine her pink, and mouth-watering lips. I kept thinking what it'd be like to touch them with mine. _NO CAT. Snap out of it..._

Oh my gosh! I totally forgot to mention, I have a girlfriend. We never see each other though because she goes to a different school than me, so I guess we're kind of in a long distance relationship. Her name is Bella, which fits her perfectly because she's so beautiful! We've been dating for about 7 months now and she makes me so happy! I know what you're thinking now, "Wow! Cute innocent Cat is a lesbian?" Well, let me tell you, I'm not innocent, but I'm not bad either. Just because I am lesbian doesn't make me a bad... donkey? I don't cuss either by the way! Anyways, it's just who I like. Boys just don't appeal to me in any way. Oh, and I'm not talking about that S-E-X word... I don't even focus on that. Girls just have a way of drawing me in that boys don't.

Once, I had snapped out of my thoughts, I resumed looking at the girl next to Tori. I don't think I've ever studied someone for so long, but this girl was just so different and interesting. She was reading a book and I watched her mouth move as she read. She looked really focussed on what she was reading and I thought the way she was looking at each page was adorable. Oh no! I feel so bad for thinking that! I only think Bella is adorable...

I watched her fingers as she flipped the pages in her book. She had long fingernails that were painted black. Her shirt cut down low and exposed the top of her breasts. When I realized what I was staring at, I quickly looked away and tried to focus on nothing but my music.

When everyone had entered the class and the bell rung, Mr. Kay began to speak. "Hello class, my name is Mr. Kay, although I guess two of you already know that..." Tori and the other girl looked up and waved at Mr. Kay. I looked around at the rest of my classmates, who were all freshman. There were only five boys, and the rest of us were girls.

Mr. Kay explained how everything at Hollywood Arts worked and what we would be doing in his class. "And I think that's about it! If you have any questions, you can ask either Jade or Tori. They are Juniors and have been here for a few years." Everyone looked to Tori and the other girl whose name was Jade. I whispered her name to see what it felt like coming out of my mouth. Her name sounded so beautiful... Even more beautiful than the name Bella. That didn't make sense though because the name Bella means beautiful...

"Why are there two Juniors in this class?" Some kid in the back of the room asked.

"Well, they're actually in Vox, but they're taking this class for fun. Once you take all the classes that you're required to take, you'll have free spaces in your schedule! This is beginners chorus where all freshmen have to start. Then, there's women's chorus, which most of you will be in next year. And then, if you're good enough, there's Vox, which is the school's best chorus."

When the bell rang, I walked out of class with Tori. She asked me a lot of questions like if I liked Mr. Kay and things like that. Then, we parted ways and I went to my next class. I had English next. At Hollywood Arts we're required to take Chorus, English, Piano, Intro to the Arts, an Improv class, History, Dance, and a foreign language. We have 4 classes a day. One day, I have the first four classes, and the next day I'd have the other four classes and it would alternate. I just thought I'd explain that since some people don't have to do that. I know what you're thinking though, _You don't have a math or science class? _Well, actually, we take those classes online so that we have more time to do our artistic classes.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. All I could think about was that girl, Jade. Why was she filling my thoughts though?

I texted Bella as soon as I got home and tried as hard as I could to focus on her. I thought about Bella's gorgeous brown eyes and short hair. However, Jade always found a way to enter my mind. The sad thing was, I only knew Jade's name and what she looked like, yet I still couldn't stop thinking about her. How could someone I don't even know make me feel this way? I felt absolutely horrible and sick to my stomach. It felt as if I were betraying Bella...

* * *

The next day at school, I was hoping that I wouldn't have any classes with Jade. As much as I wanted to see her beautiful face, I needed to avoid her. Everytime someone would walk in the classroom, I looked up to make sure it wasn't Jade. I was becoming paranoid and guilt was taking over me. I can't be into Jade! I love Bella. I kept repeating my love for Bella in my head over and over again.

It was third bell and I was relieved because I hadn't made contact with Jade so far. My third bell class was history. As I sat down, all the girls started swooning and I turned around to see what they were all googly-eyed about. When I turned around, there was a handsome boy with dark hair that was fixed perfectly. He smiled at me, revealing his pearly white teeth. I turned around and rolled my eyes at the girls who were staring at him.

All of a sudden, some girl barged in the room and ran up to the handsome boy. "Oh my gosh Beck, your hair looks even more perfect than it did last year! I didn't even know that was possible!" The girl started playing with his hair.

"Trina, are you even in this class?" Beck asked.

"Well... no. But I..." The teacher walked in and interrupted her. "Trina, I'm pretty sure you aren't in my class again this year." Trina stomped out of the room and slammed the door. "Sorry about that. Hello class. I am Mr. Bizwaki, but you can call me Mr. B." He had a very deep and intense voice. He sounded like a military Sargent.

I laid my head on my desk as Mr. B continued talking. History wasn't my favorite subject.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as a loud bell rang. "Caterina, you fell asleep." I looked up and saw the teacher standing above me.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. B! It won't happen again!"

"Since it's only the second day, I'll let you go." I stood up and headed to my next class, which was improv. I was really excited for improv! Tori told me that the teacher was really weird, but cool. I met Tori in the hallway and we walked to the class. We took our seats near the front of the room and began talking. I didn't really pay attention to what she was saying though. Instead my thoughts went back to Jade. Jeez, what powers did this girl have that made me so focussed on her? Maybe she's a unicorn... No, if a unicorn was disguised as a human, they would wear a lot of colors. I have really weird logic sometimes, but it all makes sense in my head.

I snapped out of my own little world when a man jumped through the window. "HELLO CLASS!" The man yelled. As I looked at him, I realized he wasn't wearing shoes. The top of his head was bald and he was holding a coconut. Tori leaned over and whispered to me. "That's Mr. Sikowitz."

I could tell this class was going to be very interesting. Suddenly, I felt a finger whipping my cheek. "You got some druel on your cheek." I turned and there was a boy with fluffy hair rubbing my face. Gosh, I must have drueled when I fell asleep in history. "My name is Robbie! And this is Rex!" I just now noticed the puppet in his hand.

"I'm Cat!" I smiled at him and he smiled back. I started to look around the classroom to avoid eye contact with the weird boy. He was really awkward. I giggled when I noticed a picture of ducks playing poker above the door. "What's so funny?" Tori asked.

"There's a picture of ducks playing poker! Haha!" She looked to where my finger was pointing.

"Oh, haha. I never noticed that."

I turned around more to see what else was in the room, but my eyes paused on someone who looked awfully familiar. She was looking down at her phone so I couldn't really see her face. I began to get a weird feeling in my tummy, but I ignored it and turned around.

This was the only class that I was actually paying attention to all day. "Alright, so we're going to have a little drive by acting excercise. Jade, come up here!" Sikowitz yelled. I jumped at the sound of her name. Jade walked up to the front of the class. "I want you to pick four people."

She sighed. "Okay, umm... I'll take, Robbie, Lucas, Andre, and... the redhead." She pointed to me and my stomach exploded with butterflies. Wait not just butterflies. It was more like an entire zoo.

I stood up and walked to the front of the room along with the other two people that jade called up. "What's your name freshmen?" Sikowitz asked.

"C-Cat." I stuttered.

"Okay, C-Cat! Jade please explain alphabet improv."

"UGH. It's when you have to say a sentence starting with the first letter of the alphabet. You look smart. I'm sure you'll catch on. And if you don't, well sucks for you." My happiness went down after Jade said that. She sounded so rude to me!

"What's that supposed to mean?" I yelped subconsciously.

"Sorry kid. I was just kidding."

"Alrighty then. Lucas, how about you start." Sikiowitz said.

"Okay. Umm..." Lucas started to say.

"YOU'RE OUT!" Sikowitz yelled.

"Wait, what?"

"You had to start with A! Okay starts with an O. Have a seat! Jade, show him how it's done."

"A massive storm is about to hit!" Jade yelled dramatically.

"Better get to shelter!" I said.

"Catching on I see." Jade smiled at me.

"Jade, try to stay in the storyline!" Sikowitz rudely butted in.

"Damn, that's a big cloud!" The boy named Andre said as he pointed to the sky.

"Forget the cloud, what about these strong winds?" Robbie said as he licked his finger and held it up.

"Get to shelter now!" Jade yelled and pushed us all in a corner.

"Ouch!" Robbie yelled.

"Robbie sit down!" Sikowitzs said. Robbie walked over and plumped his butt in the seat with his puppet.

"How is this going to protect us from the storm?" Andre questioned.

"If we stay low, maybe we'll be safe..." I said.

"Just how low are we supposed to get?" Jade asked.

"Kermit the frog would know what to do!" Andre randomly yelled.

"Andre, I'm not pleased with your answer. Have a seat." Andre gave Sikowiz an angry look, but then took his seat.

"Like I was saying before, we need to find a better shelter." I said, resuming the excercise.

"My neighbor has a lot of food in his house, should we go there for shelter?" Jade asked me.

"No, it may have food, but it's not sturdy"

"Oh. Well, then where could we possibly go?"

"Perhaps we could protect one another?" I was trying to find some excuse just to hold Jade.

"Quickly, get on my back! I'll lead us to safety!" Jade yelled and I hopped on her back. Wow, this was a really weird class. I burried my head into the back of Jade's neck. Her hair smelt like sweet vanilla.

"Run!"

"Sadly, this is as fast as I can go."

"Then, I guess we're stuck to die in this violent storm."

"OHHH, plot twist." Sikowitz whispered.

"Umbrella's would be very useful right now." She said, pretending that it had started raining.

"Very useful..." I added. This excercise seemed to be going on forever, I just wanted to get closer to her and then be done with this.

"What else do we have to use?"

Darn it! I got X. "Examples are each other." I tensed, knowing that my word started with an E. I looked over to Sikowitz and noticed he was too busy drinking coconut milk.

"You mean, like... this?" She put her arms around me and I blushed.

"Yeah..." I giggled.

"Jade wins!" Sikowitz was paying attention now.

I went and sat next to Tori who was giving me a confused look. "That was the weirdest alphabet improv I've seen. And trust me, I've seen a lot."

When the bell rang, I actually left the classroom with a smile on my face. I liked Jade. I liked her a lot. I was going to do something about it. I've got a plan for tomorrow. I smiled devilishly and went home preparing my plans for tomorrow.

**A/N: Sorry it was a little long and sorry it's starting out kind of slow! It will get better along the way, I promise! Please review and tell me what you think! XOXO**


	2. Chapter 2: GSA and Jade

**Disclaimer : Victorious is not mine. **

**A/N: Hey guys, thank you so much for the reviews! It really means a lot.**

**CHAPTER 2: GSA and Jade**

I walked straight to my first class the day. I was the first one in the room, and I sat on the risers this time. I was planning on talking to Jade, but I was absolutely terrified! I'm not very good at talking to girls. Tori entered the room, and my smile faded. How was I supposed to talk to Jade when Tori was here? I grunted, but put a fake smile on my face.

The warning bell rang, and everyone was in class, besides Jade. I was beginning to think she wasn't going to show up, but then, at the last-minute, she barged in the door holding a cup of coffee in her hand. The final bell went off as she sat down next to Tori. The announcements began and Mr. Kay told us all to be quiet. "Good morning everyone! Today is Thursday, September 10th. To anyone interested, school spirit wear goes on sale next week. You can pick up a form in the front office. Also, next Thursday will be the first Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) meeting! All students interested may come! This year's musical will also be announced next Thursday!" The announcements continued, but I stopped listening. I was definitely looking forward to Thursday! I've been looking for someone who I could talk to, and going to GSA would be the perfect place for me!

We didn't do much in chorus today. People were just listening to their iPods and talking while Mr. Kay was getting some things together for fund-raisers. I guess I wasn't going to talk to Jade today. Every time I looked at her, I got nervous and completely lost my confidence. There's no way that a girl like her would ever acknowledge someone like me. I'm all ditsy and a goody-goody, and she's all... well, Jade.

The bell rang signaling for us to head to our next class. I was very disappointed that I had chickened out and didn't talk to Jade. Maybe it just wasn't the right time yet.

I walked to English, and as I sat down, I noticed someone familiar sitting across the room. It was my best friend from middle school! I ran over to her and wrapped my arms tightly around her. "REYA!" I yelled and giggled. "CAT!" She yelled back. "What are you doing here? You weren't in this class last time." I asked her.

"I got a schedule change!" I was so happy that Reya was here. I didn't even know she made it into Hollywood Arts! We had lost communication over the summer because I was doing a musical and was just to busy to hang out.

"So, you got into Hollywood Arts?" I asked her.

"Yupp!" She smiled excitedly.

"But I thought you were on the waiting list?"

"I was! But someone ended up moving to Canada, and here I am!" We continued to talk through out the whole class, occasionally getting yelled at by the teacher for being too loud. I told her about Jade and how I was still with Bella and stuff. I also asked her if she'd go to GSA with me, and she agreed. I'm so happy to have someone to get all my emotions out to. I would tell Tori everything, but I don't know her that well yet.

Days went by and I still hadn't talked to Jade. I'm such a chicken! Reya keeps calling me a "pussy" and it made me think of a funny joke! Since my name is Cat, I would be a pussy cat! HAHAHA!

Before I knew it, it was Thursday. I've been looking forward to Thursday because the GSA meeting was today and they're announcing the school musical. I ran to the Hollywood Arts bulletin board at the front of the school at the end of the day before I headed to GSA with Reya. I looked at the sheet that said "School Musical" and below it said "Rent" A huge grin spread across my face. Rent was one of me and Reya's favorites! Then, some boy walked up and hugged Reya. I looked at him and recognized him as Robbie from my improv class. Surprisingly, he didn't have that weird puppet.

I was really annoyed though because apparently Robbie kept asking Reya out. He followed us to the room where GSA was. Reya ended up asking him to come in with us. "What? Isn't that for GAY people?" He asked in shock as if we were suggesting that he was gay, which I wouldn't be surprised if he was. I explained to him th

I was actually really nervous about the GSA meeting. "What if people think I'm weird?" I asked Reya.

"Everyone at this school is weird..." She stated.

"True..."

We walked in the room, and I felt a rush of relief. Just looking at who was in the room, I felt like I belonged. A girl dressed in plaid with glasses and short bushy hair was standing at the front. There was a pale boy, a girl with short brown hair, a girl I recognized from my Intro to the Arts class, and a few others. They were all seated in the desks and Reya, Robbie, and I sat in the back of the room.

We were about to start the meeting when a girl ran into the room and said "Sorry I'm late!" I looked up from my lap at the recognition of the voice. Jade.

"It's fine Jade." The girl in the front of the room said. "This is our Vice President everybody!" Jade waved at everyone. "And my name is Taylor. I'm the president." Taylor wore baggy pants and a large plaid shirt. Jade stood next to her wearing a blue sweatshirt and ripped jeans with black combat boots. They talked about what the club was about and everything we'd be doing. I knew, this was going to be the best club ever.

Oh my gosh... if Jade is Vice President of GSA, then there's a good chance that she's either bi or lesbian. That means, I may actually have a chance. I smiled at the thought. I was trying to listen to the other things Taylor and Jade were saying, but Robbie and Reya were being really loud and it was really annoying me.

I'm starting to regret bringing Reya with me. Jade keeps yelling at them and telling them to shut up, but they won't stop being loud. They're making me look bad in front of Jade...

When the meeting was over, I ditched Reya and went to go talk to Taylor. I just wanted to get to know her if I had any questions or needed advice. I was scared that she was going to be really mean, since she's a senior, but while talking to her I discovered that she was really nice! She asked for my number, so I gave it to her. I'm friends with a senior now! Wow, I'm so cool.

* * *

A week went by and it was time for the next GSA meeting. I still haven't talked to Jade yet. I've been texting Bella less than usual though and it's becoming harder to say "I love you" back to her for some reason. I still say it, but I feel like the truth behind the words is starting to go away. Grr, I don't understand love.

At GSA, I made sure not to bring Reya this time. Taylor smiled at me as I entered the room and waved at me. I did the same back. I sat down and Jade went around the room seeing if she knew everyone's name. When she pointed at me, butterflies fluttered in my stomach. "You're in my Chorus and Improv class... it's Cat right?" I nodded and smiled._ She knew my name!_

The meeting went by in a blur and all I could focus on was Jade, the whole time! I listened here and there, but mostly my mind was just _Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade..._

Jade seemed so much more pleasant at GSA. When I'm in class with her, she's usually just on her phone and seems unapproachable. However, at GSA, she's got a smile on her face, and is really nice. Tori told me that Jade was rude and mean, and didn't care about other people's feelings, but I don't think that's true. The girl I see, is just someone with a long story behind them. I want to be part of Jade's story...

When I got home from GSA, I was determined to talk to Jade soon. I checked my phone quickly before thinking about what to say to her. I had two messages.

_Taylor: Hey, did you have fun at the meeting today?_ I texted her back and said "Yeah."

My other message was from Bella. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to her though. If I talked to Bella, I would just feel horrible and guilty. I ignored Bella's message.

_Taylor: Oh that's good! I just want to make sure everyone's having fun. Sometimes I feel like I'm not making it fun enough._

_Me: Oh you are! I love the meetings :)_

_Taylor: Okay good! :]_

I decided to ask Taylor a few questions about the school to see how gay friendly things were and stuff.

_Me: So, is Hollywood Arts gay friendly?_

_Taylor: Yes. It's a performing arts school! Haha_

_Me: Oh haha, that's good :)_

I felt so stupid. I decided to start some small talk.

_Me: So, do you like anyone?_

_Taylor: Eh, not to sure yet. How bout you?_

I hesitated. I wasn't sure if I should tell her. Her and Jade seemed pretty close.

_Me: Yeah..._

_Taylor: Oh cool. Who?_

I paused before replying. _Me: Umm... I don't know. You won't tell anyone will you?_

_Taylor: Of course not._

_Me: Promise?_

_Taylor: I promise._

_Me: Okay, I like Jade..._

I was scared to see her response, and scared that she would tell Jade.

_Taylor: Oh, nice, nice._

_Me: Yeah._

After texting her for a little while longer, she seemed kind of upset. I asked her what was wrong.

_Taylor: I just got some disappointing news._

_Me: Oh, that sucks! What is it?_

_Taylor: I don't want to say. It might make things awkward._

_Me: No it won't. I don't really take things awkwardly._

_Taylor: Well I just discovered that the girl I like is into someone else._

I had to think for a bit, but I finally understood what she meant and it made me feel absolutely horrible! I had no idea how to reply to her.

_Me: Ohhhh... I'm sorry! I don't even think anythings going to happen with that person anyways..._

_Taylor: That may be so, but now it's just like running into a wall because this person likes someone else._

_Me: Well, you shouldn't give up_

_Taylor: Why not?_

_Me: Because since that person knows nothings going to happen with the other person, so maybe you have a chance._

I felt bad giving her false hope, but I hated feeling like I hurt her. I'm really bad at hurting people's feelings, and when I do, I always feel the need to fix it. However, I wasn't going to stop trying for Jade. I had a plan and I was going to do it in chorus tomorrow no matter what! Having a senior like me gave me a lot more hope. That means that I'm Junior worthy too...

* * *

It was the next day and I was sitting on the risers in the chorus room. I was shaking and my heart was pounding out of my chest. _What if she thought I was stupid?_ I kept thinking. Tori walked in the room first. I was kind of upset, but she wasn't going to stop me from making a move on Jade. I don't even care if Tori knew that I was gay... I was willing to do anything I could to get Jade's attention.

Everyone was sitting in the room now. The announcements had passed and Mr. Kay was in his office getting papers together. Now was my chance. I stood up and walked over to the edge of the risers so that I could be right next to Jade as I spoke to her. I tapped her shoulder to get her attention. When our eyes met, I froze for a moment. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, after many confused looks from Jade, I said "Are you a dictionary? 'Cause when I look at you I know the meaning of beautiful." My voice was shaking as I said this, and I hoped she didn't notice.

She looked down and smiled before looking back at me and saying "That's so cheesy..." I looked down, thinking she was just going to say that it was stupid. Instead she said, "But really cute." I looked back up and smiled at her.

"So can I get your number?" I asked. She nodded, and I took out my phone. I unlocked it and saw a message from Bella saying "Good morning beautiful." I got a sick feeling in my tummy, but quickly exited out of the message and clicked on 'Add new contact.' I handed her my phone and watched her fingers type her information. She handed it back to me and our fingers met. I pulled away quickly. "Thanks!" I smiled.

"Okay! Everyone to the piano!" Mr. Kay yelled. I quickly shoved my phone in my pocket and walked to the piano, along with the rest of the class. As we sang "O'Danny Boy" I slipped my phone out and unlocked it to see what Jade put in my phone. My screen read "Jade" with a heart next to it. Below that was her cell phone number. I smiled.

**A/N: Okay, end of chapter 2! Let me know what you think! Also, sorry I didn't have time to edit this chapter, so I'm sorry about the errors! :) XOXO **


	3. Chapter 3: Texting

**Disclaimer : Victorious is not mine and neither is the girl I like :(**

**A/N : Okay, so the reviews I've gotten on this story have boosted my mood a bit. Thank you all so much! I'm a little heart-broken right now so it's kind of hard to write the happy parts of this story. Oh and the conversations in the chapter are pretty much word for word with what actually happened. For those who don't know, this story is 99.9 % true. I might have to change the ending a little, but other than that, most of it is true. But here it is! Enjoy XOXO.**

**CHAPTER 3 : Texting**

As soon as I got home, I grabbed by phone and started to text Jade. I was worried that I would seem too eager though, so I waited an hour until I sent it. While awaiting her reply, I sat at the piano and began pressing keys nervously. Since I have to take a piano class at Hollywood Arts, I thought it'd be best if I learned ahead of time so that I was somewhat experienced. As I began to play 'Seasons of Love' from Rent, my phone began to vibrate. I grabbed it as quickly as I could and unlocked it.

_Jade: hey babes :) _

I got butterflies reading the message.

_Me: What's up? :)_

I continued playing the piano. When I played, I was able to get all of my emotions out through my fingers, so I became less nervous as all my nerves left my body through to the piano.

_Jade: Just left from Mr. Kay's room. What about you?_

_Me: oh, why were you there? And I'm playing piano. So how was your day?_

_Jade: playing any song in particular or just playing? :P and he wanted me to sing a solo at his church, so I stayed after to rehearse. And my day was alright I suppose. how was yours?_

_Me: oh cool! I'm playing seasons of love from rent. And my day was pretty good :) why was yours just alright?_

_Jade: Seasons of love is one of my favorite songs in the world :) I know like every word to RENT. and just cause it wasn't ALL that interesting. some parts were definitely better than others ;)_

I looked at the winky face for what seemed like forever before replying. Also, she liked Rent? This girl seems perfect... I just couldn't believe that I was actually talking to her...

I asked her a lot of simple questions, like what music she liked, what her favorite color was, and things like that. Turns out, we have a lot more in common that I thought that we would! However, her favorite color is black and mine is purple. I couldn't believe how nice she actually was though. She looks harsh, but behind all the piercings and stuff, she's actually really kind to people who are kind to her.

_Jade: That line earlier was adorable by the way :3_

_Me: Haha, I felt so stupid :P_

_Jade: Why? Haha, did you just pull it out of the blue?_

_Me: Yeah... and I felt stupid 'cuz I thought you'd think it was stupid_

_Jade: Well no I didn't. I thought it was adorable :3 I'm a sucker for cheesy pick up lines_

I was a bit shocked when I read that. Jade didn't look like the type to enjoy pick up lines.

_Me: Well that's good :)_

_Jade: I agree_

_Me: :) to be honest, I've wanted to talk to you for a long time... I've just been too scared to_

_Jade: Haha awwee why? I hope I don't scare you away or anything XD_

_Me: Haha, no! You just make me nervous_

_Jade: Awe! Well no need to feel nervous cause of little old me :3_

_Me: Haha well I can't help it... Beautiful girls like you make me extremely nervous._

I hesitated before sending the last message, but I sent it anyways. Gosh, I was being so cheesy, but I was surprised to see her react in a positive way.

_Jade: Awe, you are so freaking sweet_

_Me: Just telling the truth ;)_

_Jade: Well it's making me red in the face XD_

I didn't realize how much I'd been smiling until my cheeks began to ache.

_Me: Awwwweee :)_

_Jade: I've never really had anyone use lines like that on me before haha cause people think I won't like them_

_Me: Well I didn't think you'd like them._

_Jade: I do :D_

_Me: If I knew that, I would've said something a while ago..._

_Jade: How long have you wanted to say something?_

_Me: Probably the minute I saw you..._

_Jade: Awe, you're very adorable_

_Me: Thanks :) Now I'm the one turning red_

_Jade: Well good cause you probably look even more adorable_

The rest of the night, I had a permanent smile on my face. I really liked Jade. Like, a lot. As I was thinking about how much I liked her, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket.

_Bella: Why have you been ignoring me?_

My eyes widened. Oh no...

_Me: Ummm... I haven't?_

_Bella: Then why do you barely talk to me? Did I do something wrong?_

_Me: No._

I had to do something about Bella. I just kept feeling so guilty about the whole Jade situation. Also, because of Jade, my feelings for Bella have changed. I love Bella to death... I really do. It's just not quite in THAT way anymore. I knew I had to end it... But I couldn't bring myself to do it... I couldn't hurt her. Bella and I had always talked about how our love was so strong and that nothing could tear it apart, even distance. I now disagree with that though.

_Bella: Then what's wrong?_

_Me: I just... Idk._

_Bella: No, what is it?_

_Me: I just.. don't think this is right._

_Bella: Oh. I guess I know what you mean. So what do you want to do?_

_Me: Idk. What do you want to do?_

I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I just didn't want to crush her like this...

_Bella: I want to do whatever is going to make you happy._

_Me: Well... what I want to do is going to make you unhappy..._

_Bella: I know. Can you just say it?_

_Me: I think we should break up._

It took a little while for her to reply, but she finally did.

_Bella: Okay. but can we still be friends?_

I honestly didn't think it was a good idea to be friends with her. I wanted to break up with her and not feel guilty, but was afraid I would still feel guilty if I remained friends with her. I had to make up for hurting her though, so I said yes.

* * *

The next day at school I was expecting Jade to say something to me, but she just acted like I wasn't even there. I pretended like I didn't care and I ignored her as well, but I felt my heart sink in my chest a little bit. I couldn't help but to watch her during class. We weren't doing much in improv today since there was a sub, so she was mostly on her phone. I felt like I should just go over and say hi, but she seemed so unapproachable at the moment.

I realized that Jade was a very confusing person. That, or I'm just not smart enough to figure her out. I watched her intently, trying to figure out her thoughts. There was a reason she was an actress though. Her face didn't reveal anything. I stood up and took one step towards where she was sitting, but then I paused and sat back down in my seat.

The bell rang, and I was upset with myself for not talking to her. Ugh, why couldn't she just talk to me? Tori didn't talk to me a lot either. She only said hi to me this morning and when I walked into class. I wasn't sure if I should be upset, or if I was just overreacting about everything.

I went home and needed to vent to someone. I texted a few of my friends in my contacts, but no one responded. I scrolled through my contacts and saw Bella's name. Although, I didn't want to make her upset, I knew she was the only one who would really listen to me and comfort me. I told her everything, and although she seemed kind of upset that my heart was focussed on someone else, she was still there for me.

I wasn't too sure what was my next step towards healing my heart was going to be. In my opinion, you're born with a broken heart, and you need to find your lover for your heart to be healed. It seems like Jade is the perfect person to heal my heart, and I really hope I'm the one to heal hers.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter was a little shorter! Please tell me what you think! :) XOXO.**


	4. Chapter 4: She loves me not

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that Dan Schneider owns, and guess what? Victorious is one of those things.**

**A/N: Thanks again for the wonderful reviews! It means a lot :) I'm beginning to feel a bit better, but I think it's just because it's the weekend and I don't have to see the girl everyday. Also, a certain person has been kind of cheering me up. :) Feel free to post advice for me in reviews, I'm desperate :/ XOXO**

**CHAPTER 4: She loves me not**

I sat on my bed debating whether I should text Jade or not. I felt like I was annoying her. She never texts me first, but when I text her she seems eager to talk. However, if I don't say something interesting, she won't reply. I knew that if she really did like me that way, she would actually want to talk to me. I know she doesn't like me, I just know it. I can't accept it though. It's like when a kid see's a really cool, but expensive toy. The kid begs and begs for it, but the mom says no. Even though the kid knows he won't get the toy, he continues begging anyways. Well I'm the little kid, and I want the coolest toy in the store, Jade.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard on my phone for a long time. Finally, I just decided to go for it. I began to type all of my feelings out.

_Me: Hey, I want to get a few things off of my chest real quick. First, I really like you. Sorry I rarely talk to you at school, it's hard to find the right things to say. I want to mean something to you. If I don't, I understand. I want to honest with me so that I'm not trying for something that's not gonna happen._

I waited nervously for her to reply, but after minutes passed by, I began to lose hope. I laid in bed, about to just completely give up, when my phone vibrated on my stomach. I started giggling because it tickled, but then unlocked it to read the message.

_Jade: Oh wow. Well first, it's okay that you don't talk to me at school, I understand. And I'll be honest with you right now, I'm still in love with someone else and I'm not sure how long exactly these feelings are going to linger and I don't want to keep you waiting on me because I don't really know whats gonna happen yet so it's up to you whether or not you want to try because I will definitely acknowledge it and appreciate it but at the same time, if there's someone else you're interested in or who's interested in you, I suggest you go for it because like I said, I don't know how things are going to work out yet._

I read the message over and over before finally replying. My heart was heavy in my chest. She loved someone else?

_Me: I don't really like anyone else. And okay, I think you're worth it. I completely understand though. If I even have the slightest chance with you, I want to go for it. I know we don't know each other too well but I think you're an amazing person, and I don't want to give up on someone like you._

_Jade: That is honestly one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me and I would be more than willing to give you a chance._

_Me: Thanks. Whoever this person that you still have feelings for is really missing out on an amazing and beautiful girl_

_Jade: I just wanna remind you, you know I'm still not over this person and I don't want to get your hopes up and then have to let them fall all over again. And you have no idea how much I wish they would realize that..._

_Me: I understand. But I'd rather going down fighting than just completely giving up on you. And I wish they would realize it too so that you could be happy._

_Jade: I appreciate that a lot, I do. At the same time though, just keep your options open. You're a gorgeous, wonderful girl and I wouldn't want someone to miss out on you if you're waiting on me, you know?_

_Me: I know what you mean, and I will. If I find someone as wonderful as you, I'll go for it. Until then, I'll wait for you forever._

_Jade: See part of me (Most of me) finds that absolutely adorable, but another part of me feels bad because I'm not good with relationships and I'm still in love with someone else._

_Me: It's fine! Please don't feel bad. But can I ask you something?_

_Jade: I will anyways though. Sure, what's up?_

_Me: Do you have a band-aid? Because I think I scraped my knee falling for you. ;)_

_Jade: Oh my god, I am such a sucker for cheesy pick up lines :)_

_Me: Haha :)_

_Jade: Oh gosh I'm smiling so hard now :)_

_Me: Good, your smile is beautiful :)_

_Jade: Thank you :)_

I looked at the clock, my eyes starting to get heavy. It was getting really late!

_Me: Well I'm exhausted! I'm going to go to sleep! Good night gorgeous :) Sweet images created by the subconscious, xoxo_

I smiled before going to sleep. I was happy that I had made her smile. However, knowing that she was in love with someone else made me want her even more. I hated the thought that someone else still had her heart. I really wanted to know who that person was. I thought it'd be rude to ask her though.

* * *

Jade didn't talk to me again the next day. She acted as if we had never talked before. I know I acted like it hadn't bothered me, but it really made me upset. Why wouldn't she talk to me?

I know I should just talk to her, but I'm afraid she'd just shun me if I tried talking to her. I think that's what I hate most about myself. I don't have enough courage to do certain things. So instead, I just watched her the whole class. That sounds really creepy, but I'm sure everyone stares at their crushes too.

When I got home, I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to feel like I annoyed her, and if I was annoying her, I wanted to stop. So I texted her and asked her. Ugh, why was it so easy to text her, but so hard to actually say these words to her? I guess it's because sending the words instead of speaking them seemed less scary. That way, I don't have to watch her reactions and I can think about my responses.

_Me: Am I annoying you? Because if I am, just tell me and I'll stop._

_Jade: What do you mean?_

_Me: I don't know. Nevermind :/_

_Jade: No sweetheart, you're not. I just wish you wouldn't waste your time on me cause I can't guarantee that I can give you what you need._

_Me: Okay. And what do you mean?_

_Jade: I'm just not someone you should waste your time on. _

_Me: Why not? I think you're amazing, I'd do anything to be with a girl like you._

_Jade: Because I'm still in love with someone else._

Everytime she says she loves someone else, my heart sinks in my chest even more. I want to be the one she talks about loving more than anyting in the world. What does this person have that makes her love them so much?

_Me: I know and I've tried to just forget about you and move on, I really have. But every time I even think about you... idk. If you want me to stop trying, I will. But that won't mean that I won't stop liking you like that. I understand you don't like me back. And it's fine._

_Jade: It's just that you deserve someone who will make you happy and I know with the situation that I'm in right now that I will not be that person. _

_Me: You would make me happy._

_Jade: No I wouldn't. I already told you I'm in love with someone else so it makes me feel bad and uncomfortable that I don't feel the same way and you need someone who will love you back just as much._

_Me: Please don't feel bad. I do understand. It's my fault that I fell for you. Do you mind me asking who this person is? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to._

_Jade: His name is Beck Oliver and he's the only boy I have ever loved. _

**A/N: Sorry for another short chapter! I thought this would be a good ending though. Also, do you guys like the way I'm showing the texting conversations? Or should I do it a different way? Tell me what you guys think! XOXO**


	5. Chapter 5: Her heart belongs to him

**Disclaimer : I do not own Victorious**

**A/N : Finally found the inspiration to write this! Okay, so I have a word of advice to everyone. If you really want something, go for it. No matter how hopeless or crazy it seems. Even if you fail, at least you can say that you tried. Warning: This chapter may get a little rough towards the end. **

**CHAPTER 5 : Her heart belongs to him**

I paused thinking about the arrogant dumbass in my history class. Sorry, I know I said a bad word... but it's the only way to describe him! He noticed me looking at him and he gave me a stupid, cheesy smile. I looked away in disgusts. That's who Jade loves? Wow. I didn't understand... what did he posses to make him so amazing? I hadn't really paid attention to him much before, but now, he's all I could focus on in class, but not it a good way. He looked perfect and seemed perfect, but... too perfect. Okay, so maybe there was no reason for Jade not to love him, but why does she still have to love him? I wanted her to just move on like any normal person would, but I can't just pop into someone's live and expect to become a part of it right away. I need to fight. If I don't fight, then I'll feel as if Beck gets her by forfeit. I don't even think Beck likes Jade anymore. So, Jade's chasing after something hopeless. Maybe that's what I'm doing too though...

My thoughts began to ramble and I fell over and onto the floor. My butt began to ache from the impact and I tried my best to stand up. A few people around me were trying to hold in a laugh. I felt a masculine hand grab mine and a smooth voice said "Are you alright?" I looked up and saw the boy that I hated more than anyone in the world.

"DON'T TOUCH ME." I yelled firmly. He let go, and my butt collided with the ground once more. The laughs that everyone was trying to hold in, exploded around the room. I ran out of the room as fast as I could and went towards the bathroom. I faintly heard the teacher call me back to the classroom, but I just kept going until I heard the sound of my footsteps bouncing around the bathroom walls and making an echo.

I sat in a stall trying to keep tears from spilling out of my eyes. I don't even know why I was about to cry. Maybe because I was embarrassed, or because my butt hurts so bad. No, those weren't the reasons. It was because of Beck.

I couldn't find any reasons for Jade not to like him, and it angered me that he was so wonderful. The only thing that's wrong with him is that he obviously don't know what he had if he gave up Jade and isn't taking her back. I remembered what his eyes looked like as he gazed into mine. They were soft and kind. The way he smiled showed that he was genuine about it. I don't even compare to him...

Theatre was next and Jade was already in the classroom, sitting in her usual spot with her head down. Looking her at that moment, I saw so much more than I usually did when I looked at her. I saw a broken-hearted girl who wanted to be loved and needed someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay. I knew exactly how she felt, because that's how I feel right now. After she told me that she loved someone else, my heart is slowly being smashed to pieces, but she could put it back together easily by just being mine. However, I don't know if I'd be able to heal her heart, and that's what hurt me the most. Loving someone is one thing, but when you know they probably won't love you back, ever, that's when it really hits you. I banged my head against the stall door trying to get my thoughts straight. _NO. I can't lose hope!_

I thought about all the things Jade has said to me that could possibly give me hope over her being mine one day. I had finally gotten my hopes back up, but then they were crushed again as soon as I got home. I made the mistake of reading Jade's latest Slap update. It said...

_If I can't be with you then I just don't want to be with anyone at all. You showed me what love is, and now you're the only one I can find it in. Get mad at me if you want, but you're the one who made me fall for you._

I threw myself on my bed and felt my heart crack a little bit more. Then my phone vibrated, and all hope was lost. The last pieces to my heart burst into a million tiny pieces that I knew would never be put together again after reading the text I had just received. My eyes flooded with tears as I buried my head into my pillow. How could I feel so strongly about someone who I hardly even knew? I wish I hadn't felt this strongly though, because it just made everything hurt that much more.

I looked back at my phone to read the message again. I was having trouble though because my tears were blurring my vision.

_Jade: Okay, I'm just going to get this off my chest. You do not have a chance with me. I am in love with someone else and I cannot be anything to you in the situation that I am currently in. I've tried as hard as I can to say this as nicely and let you down easily but now I'm going straight for it. You don't know anything about me and frankly, you like me too much for someone who doesn't know me that well. So please, go and find someone else. I am nothing to you._

My phone fell on the floor when I finished reading the last word. I picked it up and threw it, not caring where it went until I heard a loud *SMASH* Yeah... it definitely broke, along with a vase that was holding some roses in it. I looked at the scattered glass that was on the floor._ My heart is just like the vase now._ I thought.

I leaned down to pick up one of the roses, but cut my finger in the process. I thought it would've hurt to cut myself on class, but I felt nothing at all. The only pain was deep down inside my chest where the beating of my heart began to slow. Soon, it would completely stop.


	6. Chapter 6: You never can fix a heart

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Victorious...**

**A/N: Something really good happened today, and be ready to read a chapter about it :) until then, here's this one! Enjoy! XOXO**

**CatHeartsU : Yes, it is what's happening. The text conversation's that I've put in the story are literally word for word. And thanks! **

**CHAPTER 6: You never really can fix a heart**

I felt my mother vigorously shaking me to wake me up. I moaned and rolled over. "Cat. You need to wake up, you're going to miss the bus!" She walked out of the room and I slowly opened my eyes. I didn't care if I missed the bus, in fact, I didn't even care about anything anymore! I continued laying in bed until my mom came in and literally pulled me out. She told me that if I didn't get ready to go, then I couldn't have a cupcake for breakfast. I need to have one each morning because it gets me going.

I quickly threw on some random clothes and ran downstairs with my bag. I didn't even bother to fix my hair or put on make up. Who was there to impress knowing that Jade would never love me? My mom had a cupcake sitting on the counter waiting for me, but as I looked at it, I began to lose my appetite. The little cupcake looked so happy and cheerful, and I wasn't. How could I put something happy into my sad body? I told my mom I wasn't hungry and she checked me for a fever. I insisted that I was fine, and she didn't really believe me, but let me go anyways.

I walked into chorus, and relief flooded through my body seeing that Jade wasn't here yet, but Tori called me over to sit with her. "Umm... Can we sit on the other side of the room today?" I asked her, not wanting to sit near the place where Jade usually sits.

"Uhh, why?" Tori asked curiously.

"Because... I uhh.." I looked down not knowing what to say.

"Cat, do you need to talk?" I slowly nodded, holding back tears. I told her about the way I felt for Jade and then showed her the conversation. Tori gave me a hug and told me that everything would be okay, but I wasn't completely sure that it was.

"I think we should still sit over here though, see if she does anything, you know?" I said okay, and put in my headphones to listen to my iPod. Jade walked in as soon as I started listening to my music. She completely ignored me and sat on the other side of Tori. She didn't even look at me...

I scrolled through the songs on my iPod and looked for a song that wasn't upbeat and happy, and finally found 'Fix A Heart' by Demi Lovato. I started the song and realized how true the lyrics were.

_Baby, I just ran out of band-aids_

_I don't even know where to start_

_'Cause you can bandage the damage_

_You never really can fix a heart_

You really can't fix a heart once it's broken, but you can bandage it with new love. I need to start bandaging my heart before it's completely broken forever. The thing is, how am I supposed to start bandaging it if I don't love anyone else? I looked over to Jade, feeling the small pieces of my heart start to ache. _Move on Cat. She doesn't love you._ I tried telling myself over and over, but no matter what, I still loved Jade.

* * *

The bell rang, and it was time to go to our next class. I rushed out of the room as fast as I could. I heard someone calling my name behind me, but I ignored it and continued speed walking to my next class. However, the person shouting my name finally caught up. It was Tori.

"Cat, I don't like seeing you this way." I turned around and our eyes met, making my thoughts freeze for a moment. I looked down, but then Jade came right back into my head. "Please smile for me." I looked back at her.

"I can't." I stated.

"Why not?" She asked, a concerned look on her face.

"Because. My heart won't let me." Tori wrapped her arms around me, giving me a tight hug. It was warm, and I felt as if some of the pieces to me heart were reconnecting as I was in Tori's arms. However, as soon as she let go, the pieces fell apart again. I walked away and headed to class.

I sat in my next class, silent, thinking about the way Tori had hugged me. Her arms just sent comforting waves into my body somehow. The way my heart felt after the hug is what really confused me though. Why did she make me feel that way when she hugged me?

_Do I like Tori?_ I thought to myself. Maybe it was just the comfort she was giving me that made it seem as if I had feelings for her. No. I won't fall for anyone else, my heart's already broken enough. What if Tori wouldn't break it though? What if she was the bandages I needed to heal my wound?

More questions swirled through my mind, but my the time I ran out of questions to ask myself, it was the end of the day. Tori met me by my locker as I was gathering my things and getting ready to go. "Hey Cat. Do you want a ride home?"

"Ummm... Sure." I decided it'd be good to hang out with someone instead of drowning in my sad thoughts.

"Oh, okay cool! Do you want me to take you home, or do you want to come hang out at my place?" For some reason, I got butterflies thinking about hanging out with Tori at her place. I said to hang out at her place though, because the longer I stopped thinking about Jade, the longer I wouldn't be hurting. I hoped my mom would be okay with me hanging out with a Junior. I texted her, to make sure she knew where I was.

The drive to Tori's house was fairly quiet. There was just the sound of radio the radio. Tori would occasionally sing when a good song came on. This was the first time I had actually heard her sing though, and it she sounded really good.

When we got to her house, we sat on her bright orange couches. "Can I get you something to eat or drink?" Tori asked me.

"No thanks. I haven't really been able to eat anything lately..."

"Oh why?" She seemed concerned.

"Just... Whenever I think about Jade, I feel broken and nothing will go down when I try to eat it."

"So, don't think about Jade." She said it like it was the easiest thing in the world.

"I can't..."

"Why not?"

"Because I love her." Tori slowly walked towards me and sat down.

"I'm sorry. Maybe if you just give it a little time... Jade breaks hearts though. She's not a very kind person Cat..." She warned me.

"I think she's a nice person." I defended her.

"Cat, you don't even know her!"

"I know... But I can just see that there's a lot more to her than she lets people know. And she's nice to me!"

"She broke you heart. How is that nice? And no... Jade and nice don't go together. I've known her a lot longer than you have." She seemed to be getting a little angry as she said this.

"Well, I think she's nicer than she seems."

"Whatever." Tori seemed really upset.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked her after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Do you know what happened with Jade and Beck?"

She sighed before answering. "Yes. It was last year, and I had just started going here. They had been dating for almost two years. They were off and on though and had fought a lot. And lets just say... she doesn't like me very much. Beck started to like me, and after I came along, things just kept getting worse between them. Eventually, they officially ended it. Things haven't been the same between them since."

"Oh wow..." That's all I could say. I wasn't really sure how to respond.

"Yeah..."

There was a long moment of awkward silence, but Tori broke it. "So, do you want to watch a movie?" I nodded my head and she took out a box of movies. I looked through them, and picked a sad movie because I needed an excuse to cry.

"Marley and me? Oh come on! Let's watch a comedy. A sad movie will only make you think about Jade even more." Tori went digging through the box and pulled out 'Mean Girls'. She put it in the DVD player and turned on the TV.

While watching, I was kind of happy Tori made me watch a comedy. This was the first time I had laughed since the whole Jade situation. However, it didn't keep my mind entirely from Jade. Thinking about mean girls made me think about Jade. Why did Tori say that she was mean? She seemed nice-ish to me.

When the movie was over, I definitely felt better. I was actually smiling and I could actually eat food without feeling sick. My phone began to vibrate and her coffee table, and I quickly picked it up seeing that it was my mom.

"Hello?"

"Cat? When are you coming home?" She said urgently.

"Oh... I'm not sure. When do you want me home?"

"I don't know. I just want to make sure you're alright. You haven't been replying to my texts."

"Oh, sorry! I was watching a movie!"

"Okay, well let me know when you're ready to come home, alright?"

"Okay mom. Love you! Bye!" I hung up and looked checked my text messages. I had five from my mom, one from Taylor, and one from Bella. I texted Taylor and Bella back and then looked to Tori. "So, how much longer am I staying?" I asked.

"As long as you want."

"Well, my mom's kind of worried, so I should probably go." I said, trying not to disappoint her.

"Oh, alright. I'll drive you!" Tori grabbed her car keys and we walked out to her car.

When we got to my house we sat in the car for a few minutes. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome! So do you want me to walk you to your door?"

"If you want to..." She opened her car door and stepped out, walking to the front of my house. The porch light was off, so we only had the moon and her car's headlights providing light. "So text me?" She asked, and I nodded. JUst as I was about to open the door, there was an impact on my lips. I felt myself kissing back. The broken pieces of my heart began to put themselves back together as I felt Tori's soft lips against mine. She was my bandage.

**A/N: Sorry, it took a little while to finish this chapter! So Tori kissed Cat! Hmmmm... :) Bet you didn't see that one coming! Tell me what you think! XOXO! Oh and sorry if there are any errors, I didn't have time to edit it. **


	7. Chapter 7: Defending My Girlfriend

**Disclaimer: Victorious isn't mine. But I yearn for the day where I could call it mine, yet that day will never come because Victorious is coming to an end :(**

**A/N: Hey, sorry it took so long to update! I've had a lot going on, anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! XOXO**

**CHAPTER 7: Defending my "girlfriend"**

The next morning, I threw on a black sweatshirt and some grey jeans. I usually wear really colorful cloths, but now that I'm so depressed, I feel like I can't dress colorful when I don't feel colorful. Oh great, today I had improv with Jade. It's so hard to look at her without feeling my crumbled heart in my chest. I thought about Tori's kiss last night and everything began to get better.

I walked out the door and was about to start walking to my bus stop when I saw a car outside my house. I recognized it as Tori's and started walking towards it. The door opened for me as I reached for it, and Tori sat in the driver's seat, leaning over. "Hi. Would you like a ride?" She smiled at me and I got in the car.

I sat awkwardly most of the ride. I think Tori noticed my awkwardness because she started to talk. "I'm sorry about kissing you last night. I don't even know what came over me."

"No, it's fine. I enjoyed it." I said, not really knowing what to say. I honestly did enjoy it, but I wasn't sure about how I felt about it, like if I liked her that way.

"I really like you Cat." Tori said as her face got red. I paused for a long time, not knowing how to respond. I can't just tell someone I like them, when I don't know how I feel yet. Maybe that's how Jade felt... "It's okay that you don't like me back." Tori said after my long moment of silence.

"No! It's not that, I do like you! I just haven't exactly figured out my feelings yet." I said, trying not to make her upset.

"Oh, well take your time beautiful." She said looking at me passionately.

I felt horrible. Yes, I do like Tori, but she seems to like me much more than I like her and she deserves someone who feels as much for her as she does for them, and that person isn't me. I remained silent the rest of the ride. When we got out of the car, I quickly walked into the building leaving Tori out in the parking lot confused. I felt bad, but I needed to get my thoughts straight. I went to the bathroom and walked over to the mirror. I looked like a mess today. My hair was messy, and I wasn't wearing make up. What did Tori even see in me? I turned on the sink and started to wash my hands for no reason.

As I thought about Tori, one of the stall doors opened. I didn't bother to look up, figuring it was just some random person that I didn't know. The girl started washing her hands in the sink next to mine. After drying her hands, she touched my shoulder. I turned around to look at her. _Jade. _Our faces were just inches apart and I stared into her eyes for what seemed what forever before she finally said "I have that same sweatshirt." Before I could reply, she walked out of the bathroom leaving me stunned with water pouring over my hands.

When I finally walked out of the bathroom, my legs were shaking. All I could think about was Jade's eyes. They were blue-green and seemed to hold so much secrets and things I couldn't comprehend.. It was almost impossible to describe how I felt when I looked into them. As I walked through the halls dazed, Tori stood in front of me and snapped me from my thoughts.

"Hey Cat! May I walk you to class?" She smiled at me.

"Uh, sure." I said. As we walked to our improv class, my hand slid against Tori's. I pulled away quickly, but Tori reached for my hand and next thing I knew, our fingers were intertwined.

We walked in class, holding hands. Some people stared at us, and I felt my hand begin to sweat. Jade turned around to see what everyone had been looking at and her eyes immediately went to our hands. She gave a sharp, harsh look to Tori, making her rip her hand from mine. I wiped my hand on my jeans and sat down in my usual seat. Tori sat next to me, but it was a little to close for me. Our shoulders were barely touching and I was very uncomfortable. I felt eyes on me through out class. The other students seemed to be getting suspicious of me and Tor's relationship.

I think I held my breath the whole class, because when the bell rang I was able to breath smoothly again. I quickly stood up and was about to run out of class, but I felt a soft hand grab my arm. The touch of their skin sent butterflies down to my tummy and I turned to Jade's amazing blue-green eyes. "Hi." Her voice was so smooth that it seemed like a whisper.

"Hi." My voice was shaking as I responded. She was still holding on to my arm as she talked to me, which made it really hard to focus on what she was saying.

"What's going on with you and Tori?" She asked, although it wasn't much of a question, it was more like a demand. I wasn't sure how to respond. My mind was frozen, along with my body. I tried to think of what to say. All I could think of was how confused I was though. Why would Jade even care? Why was she even talking to me? I didn't even know what was going on between Tori and I, so how was I supposed to answer.

Just as I was about to answer, I saw Tori in the corner of my eye. She walked up to me and Jade. "Hey, Jade. What are you and Cat talking about?"

"What's up with you guys?" Jade directed at Tori this time.

"I don't know what you mean." Tori said innocently. I felt like I was missing something.

"You know exactly what I mean Vega." Jade released my arm and faced Tori, looking very angry. I was starting to get terrified. I tried to listen to what they were saying, but my heart was so loud that it was hard to hear everything.

"Well, I don't know. Even if I did know, it'd be none of your business." Tori yelled.

"I'm just asking a fucking question and you don't have the courage to just answer it?" I flinched at the curse word.

"Who said I didn't have the courage to answer? Maybe you just don't have the right to know."

"Well then just say nothing and leave instead of pretending that nothing's going on!" Jade's face had started to turn red as she yelled.

"I can't say nothing because then I'd be lying." Tori said. I wanted to jump in and just stop this useless arguing, but I wasn't sure what to say. Nothing was going on between Tori and I. Tori just had a crush on me and that was all. I finally realized my feelings. I didn't feel anything towards Tori. She was just my bandage, nothing more. Looking at Jade made me see how much I really liked her. I don't know why I felt this way about someone I hardly even communicate with, but no matter what, I did feel a strong connection with her and that's something that I didn't feel with Tori.

"Hey Cat, why don't you just go ahead to the parking lot? I'll meet you there and drive you home in a few minutes." Tori said calmly too me.

"She doesn't have to leave!" Jade yelled at Tori, then she looked to me as I started to walk out of the classroom. "What, are you her puppet Cat? You're just going to do what she says so that she can sit here and tell me shit without you knowing? Because that's exactly what this bitch is going to do!"

I turned around. "Don't call my girlfriend a bitch." I felt like washing my mouth out with soap after saying that. Why did I just say that? I don't even know why I said that, I just didn't like that Jade said those nasty words. Tori was right... Jade isn't nice. However, I think it's just a cover up. Deep down inside, I know Jade's a different person. As I walked out of the classroom, I saw Jade give me a look. It wasn't a mean one, but it did have a lot of emotion. I didn't have time to decipher what it was though.

I stood outside the classroom door so that I could hear what else Tori and Jade were going to say. I know eavesdropping is bad, but I was really curious.

"Why do you always take the things I love? First Beck, Now cat?" Jade began yelling at Tori. I was deeply confused when I hear this.

"I didn't take Beck! I'm sorry things got rough between you guys, but I had no intention of anything. And you broke Cat's heart! You didn't love her!" Tori yelled back.

"I told you. I even told you that I felt something towards Cat. I even told you that I couldn't be with her because it would hurt to much. For once, I thought that I could trust you. Why Vega? I should have known not to trust you again. GOD, I'm such a dumbass!" Jade poured her heart out to Tori as I stood out in the hallway, shocked. Jade likes me?

"You always got everything Jade! I want something good for once! Beck wouldn't go out with me because he felt guilty!"

"So you go after a freshman? Wow, fuck you Tori! FUCK YOU!" I heard footsteps coming my way and I ran to the parking lot as fast as I could.

**A/N: Hmmm... Tell me what you think? Again, sorry it took so long to write and sorry if there are any errors! I haven't had time to really edit it. **


	8. Chapter 8: Jade and Tori, what?

**Disclaimer: I didn't own Victorious yesterday, and I don't own it today.**

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. Sorry to you Cori shippers, but this is a Cade story so...sucks for you. Anyways, hope you like this chapter! XOXO**

**CHAPTER 8: Jade and Tori, what?**

I sat in the parking lot, waiting next to Tori's car. Jade was the first to storm out of the building though. She looked completely pissed off! She stomped to her car and slammed the door when she got in it. I could hear her cursing and yelling as she started her car. Once it roared to life, she backed out carelessly, running over the bike rack that was behind her, and she sped off. I still couldn't believe Jade actually liked me. Even though I heard the words come out of her mouth, I continued to deny it.

Tori walked out of the school doors looking quite pleased with herself. In some ways, it kind of made me really mad. OH NO! Jade thinks me and Tori are... dating. Tori probably thinks we are also. Great, what do I do now? Gosh, I'm so stupid sometimes!

"Hey babe." She smiled at me and grabbed my hand to help me up. "Sorry that took so long. Jade was just saying..." She paused to think of something to say. Tori didn't know that I heard the entire conversation. "... That she thought it was gross that I was dating a freshman, but I told her to get a life." I listened to her lie. I was really mad that she just straight up lied to me. I started to wonder if she even really liked me at all, or if I was just a way to get Jade upset. Tori was beginning to make me sick though... "So, you wanna go to my house?"

"No. Can you just take me home?" I asked as politely as I could. She looked at me disappointed.

"Aww, what's wrong baby?"

"I'm not your baby..." I muttered, but she heard me.

"You said I was your girlfriend?"

"Yeah... But I didn't mean it. I just didn't like Jade calling you nasty names, and I don't know. It just came out." Tori slammed on the brakes avoiding hitting the person in front of us.

"What?!" I didn't understand why she seemed so mad, she was just using me anyways.

"I'm sorry!" I flinched as if she was going to hit me. She remained silent until she dropped me off at my house.

"Cat!" She yelled as I stepped out of the car. "I really do like you, you know. No matter what happens I'm always here. Text me, we need to talk. Bye." After that, she drove off.

* * *

I laid in my bed, waiting for a text from Tori. I was honestly scared to see what she needed to talk about. Maybe she wasn't lying about liking me, but I knew she did want to make Jade upset, so I guess that part was just her bonus. My phone vibrated and I quickly unlocked it to reply to Tori's _"Hey"._

_Tori: There are a few things I need to tell you about Jade._

I got butterflies in my tummy seeing Jade's name.

_Tori: She's dangerous Cat..._

_Me: Okay?_

Tori seemed more dangerous than Jade right now...

_Tori: Once she gets inside your heart, she'll just continue crushing it until there's nothing left. _

_Me: She has crushed it. But it healed. Hearts do heal Tori..._

_Tori: Not all hearts heal._

I was confused as I read the message. I didn't bother to reply though, I had a long day. I laid my head down on my pillow and drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

I had to ride the bus the next morning because Tori wasn't going to pick me up. I really upset her, and I do feel bad for that. However, she's upset me as well so I guess we're even.

It was only a half day today because Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I walked to chorus, expecting to be ignored by Tori, who was sitting on the risers already. It was just the opposite though. She stood up as soon as she saw me and directed me to go sit next to her. I did what she said.

"I need to tell you something." Tori said, with a serious look on her face.

"Okay.." I was really nervous to hear what she had to say.

"It's about Jade."

"What about her?"

"I just don't think you should associate yourself with her. She doesn't care you know." _Lies, lies, lies. _I thought to myself as she said this.

"Stop it Tori! You don't know crap! You don't know her the way I do. She's so sweet to me."

"Yeah... that's why she completely rejected you." I glared at Tori.

"I know she cares Tori. I can feel it."

"CAT! Just give it up! She's a fucking bitch who seems like she wants you, but once she has you, she will treat you like shit!" Tori yelled at me, making me scoot away from her.

"How would you know that Tori?!" I yelled back.

"Because I used to be with her!" I froze in shock...

I was about to reply, but we stopped talking about it because Jade walked in the room. I thought that she'd sit far away from us, but she came over and sat right next to me. I felt butterflies start to flutter in my tummy. Then I looked over to Tori and started to smirk. I knew what I was going to do...

"Good morning." I said to Jade.

"Good morning." She smiled at me.

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm alright. I'm just glad it's a half day."

"Oh yeah, me too! So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" I could see Tori out of the corner of my eye, she looked really mad.

"My entire family is coming over and I'm going to spend time with all of them. What are you doing?"

"Oh fun! I'm just hanging out with my mom and my brother, so nothing too exciting."

Mr. Kay came into the room and started talking to the class, so Jade and I stopped talking. Tori gave me a dirty look and then focused on Mr. Kay.

"Alright, so today is a half day, which means that we have half the time to rehearse! There are about 3 weeks until the winter concert, but we only have a short amount of time to get it all down!" We gathered around the piano to practice, and for once, I was feeling really good about everything. My singing was great, and my attitude was great! However, every time I feel on top of the world, something always knocks me down...

The bell rang, and class was over. I went to the risers to get all my stuff. Jade was next to me, gathering her books and music when I felt someone grab my neck. I only had a second to register who it was before they smashed their lips against mine. "Tori stop!" I yelled as I pushed away. I turned to Jade, who looked at me with a hurt expression on her face. I tried to think of something to say, but my mind was blank and before I knew it, I was standing in the classroom alone.

**A/N: Kind of a short chapter, but oh well! Tell me what you think! XOXO**


	9. Chapter 9: Happy Thanksgiving

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Tv shows, Victorious being one of them**

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Okay, so I'm kind of late posting this... I know it's not Thanksgiving anymore, but this happened on Thanksgiving and stuff... so... yeah. Also, this is an extremely long chapter! Enjoy! XOXO**

**CHAPTER 9: Happy Thanksgiving**

I woke up the next morning, and it was Thanksgiving. I wasn't too sure whether today would be happy though. I wanted Jade to know that Tori doesn't mean anything to me, but how could I let her know without telling her that I knew she liked me?

I decided to just text her Happy Thanksgiving.

_Me: Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you have a wonderful day :)_

I laid in bed, anxiously waiting for her reply.

_Jade: Happy Thanksgiving beautiful :) the same goes to you!_

I read this message over and over. _She called me beautiful._ I had butterflies in my stomach all morning. At church, Jade was all I could think about. That night at the dinner table, I almost said that I was thankful for Jade. Thank goodness I didn't though. My dad was sitting right in front of me. His broad shoulders lifted when he used his knife to cut the turkey on his plate. He was a very muscular man, which made him all the more intimidating. I don't hate my father, but I don't necessarily love him either. My mother knew I was gay, and she was just fine with it. However, my father was not okay with it. Sometime's, I have a feeling that's a huge reason why my parents are getting a divorce. My eyes began to get teary, remembering the day my parents said they were splitting.

* * *

_"Cat... Frankie? Could you please sit at the kitchen table with your father and I?" My mom had said, directing my brother and I to the two empty seats. We did as we were told, thinking that we were in trouble._

_"We have something very serious to discuss, and I want to make sure, before we say anything, that you know that we both love you guys and we will do our best to make sure that we are still a family." My brother and I exchanged frightened looks. My mom began to weep as she said the most devastating thing I had ever heard in my life. "Your daddy and I are separating..." My brother looked at me before crying along with my mother. However, all I could do was sit in silence._

_I looked at my dad. He was just sitting there with his arms crossed looking down at the table. He probably didn't even care bout the pain he was causing all of us. I knew he did something wrong... I knew it. I glared at him until he looked up at my mom and brother. A sense of guilt appeared on his face as he watched them hug each other and cry. I knew that he knew, it was all his fault._

* * *

I glared at my dad the same way I glared at him the day they broke the news to us. He acted oblivious to everything and it made me so mad! How could he just pretend that nothing was wrong with any of us?! Everything was wrong with this family! My mom's an emotional wreck all the time, my brother has so many problems that I can't point out just one, and me? I am a freak.

After dinner was over, my dad went to the fridge, grabbed a pack of beers, and disappeared into his bedroom. He remained up there for several hours, and my mom was downstairs with my brother and I, crying. I sat next to her on the couch and tried to comfort her. It didn't work though.

It was now 9 O'clock, almost exactly three hours from when my dad locked himself in his room. I heard the door crash open, and my father marched down the stairs with a huge suitcase. "What are you doing?" My mom asked, concerned.

"I'm leaving." His breath was intoxicated with alcohol.

"What?! Why?" I thought my mom had been upset before, but now she almost fell to the ground.

"Because you're a bitch, that dumbass lesbian over there" He pointed to me. "- and I don't want to be here anymore!"

My bother grabbed me and took me upstairs as my dad continued yelling in the living room. We sat in his closet and he held my hand. We tried to comfort one another, but it wasn't working. My brother loved my dad. He was the only male figure that my brother could really look up to.

I felt my phone in my pocket and pulled it out quickly. I needed to talk to _her..._

_Me: Hi, sorry to bother you. I just really need someone to talk to..._

I sat next to my crying brother, hoping she would reply, and when she did, I smiled.

_Jade: You're fine sweetheart, I just got off work. Is something wrong?_

_Me: Okay. And yeah kinda :/_

_Jade: Talk to me love._

I felt so relieved that she was here for me. I told her what happened with my dad, how he was drunk, and what he said.

_Jade: Oh my gosh sweetheart! What a stupid fucking asshole! I completely understand, my father was drunk last night and he went off on a tangent and was being just absolutely horrid. I know it's no excuse but when people are drunk they say things just to be mean and they don't mean half of them. Either way that doesn't take away the hurt they cause to others I'm so sorry you had to hear something like that sweetheart._

I read her reply at least ten times. She actually cared... Tori lied! Jade is the only person who has actually taken the time to both listen, and give me feedback like this. She actually showed that she cared and helped me. Bella listened, but she never quite comforted me the way Jade was doing now.

_Me: It's not the first time he's said something like that though. He's said things even when he's sober. Just so much crap has been happening and it's so overwhelming._

_Jade: Sweetheart, I am so sorry. No one, especially not someone as sweet as you, deserves to hear those kinds of things. But you're so much better than him, and he can say whatever the fuck he wants but he's just mad because he's ignorant and he doesn't understand you._

_Me: Thanks. That really cheers me up a lot, you have no idea. I just feel like I'm ruining my whole family because I'm a huge reason why my parents are getting divorced and it's so hard to live with that. And my brother's a huge wreck too. Ugh._

_Jade: See the thing is, I really doubt that you being gay is really the reason your parents are divorcing, or even really has anything to do with that at all. I think that your father realized just how much he doesn't know you and how he doesn't connect with his family, and it was a shock that he still doesn't understand and he's going to act like a child a throw a temper tantrum, and don't think it's your fault sweetheart. You don't need that kind of pressure on your shoulders._

_Wow. _I thought to myself as I tried to think of how to reply. I got a sense of warmth reading the words Jade was saying to me. They were so thought-provoking and deep. However, I was still upset with the entire situation with my dad.

_Me: That's a really good point. You're probably right, I just wish that my dad wouldn't put it all on my shoulders. Thanks though, for listening and stuff. It really means more that you'll ever know._

_Jade: Of course sweetheart. I'm here whenever you need me. And trust me, I've gone through so many situations involving stupid fathers, I'm practically an expert XD_

_Me: Ah, so you have a stupid father too? And thanks :) I'm here if you need me as well_

_Jade: Yes. My father is an absolute fuck up in every way who likes to get drunk despite the fact that he has pancreatitis_

_Me: Oh wow... That's horrible! I'm sorry :(_

_Jade: It's okay sweetheart. Like I said, I'm pretty used to it at this point believe it or not. haha._

_Me: Yeah, but that doesn't make it right. I don't understand guys at all -_- See, I think my dad really made me gayer... He showed me what an asshole men can be._

I typed out the cuss word, feeling guilty, but needing to get it off my chest.

_Jade: YES! Nearly every man in my life that I'm supposed to look up to is a fuck up and all the ones I've taken chances on turn out to be just fucking stupid!_

_Me: Yupp! Same here! Like, you think one's going to be different, and then they just prove they're all the same._

_Jade: I mean sometimes I keep an eye out for the good ones, Andre Harris is a very good example, but I'm still not interested._

_Me: Yeah, I know what you mean. It's hard to find good ones though._

_Jade: That's why I'm staying single. XD_

The good mood I had been in faded as I read this message. Great, she want to stay single. I didn't want to show that it affected me though.

_Me: Haha good plan :) I have no idea what I'm doing. My love life is so complicated :P_

_Jade: How is it complicated?_

_Me: Oh gosh... This is a long story... Haha_

_Jade: I've got time :)_

I took a deep breath and told Jade pretty much everything. I needed to get all of my past relationships and other people out of my system.

_Me: Okay well, I was in a long distance relationship with this girl named Bella who lives in Ohio for about 9 months, but things got kind of rough between us and stuff. And we've recently started talking a lot... so that's been kind of complicated. And then one of my friends likes me... but it's really weird and I don't know what's going on between us._

_Jade: Who's your friend? And yeah the long distance thing is always hard and more than a little weird. I've had a lot of long distance relationships._

I debated whether I should tell her that the friend is Tori. Although, I was very curious about Jade and Tori's relationship...

_Me: Tori... and yeah long distance is VERY hard. Oh! I forgot, there's also this girl that I really like and I know I should get over her because nothing's ever going to happen, but I can't :P which is stupid because we aren't even that close._

I was hoping that she'd catch on that I was talking about her.

_Jade: Oh... Tori? What's going on between you guys anyway? I thought you two were dating? And haha why do I feel like I know this girl? XD_

_Me: We are not together, and we never really were. She likes me, but I don't like her. And haha, it's probably because you do know her :)_

_Jade: Oh okay. And what does she look like?_

I tried to think of a way to describe Jade.

_Me: Hmm... She's almost impossible for me to describe because when I look at her my mind turns to jelly. But if I must describe her, the only word I can think of is absolutely gorgeous._

_Jade: Wow... she sounds pretty, uh... emotionally invoking._

_Me: Mhm. :P_

_Jade: I'm sorry sweetheart. I still feel really bad, but I'm not gonna date you while I'm in love with someone else. My best friend tried to do that and it ended with both her and her boyfriend getting hurt._

I felt my heart start to feel heavy in my chest. The smile that was on my face had turned into a frown, and I was confused. I thought she liked me? However, Jade didn't know I heard her say that to Tori...

_Me: I know, I know. I respect that. I just don't know what the heck you've done to my heart 'cause I can't just freaking move on when I don't even know you very well_

_Jade: I don't know what I did either 'cause I'm honestly not all that great of a person_

_Me: Why's that?_

_Jade: I'm just not. I don't know how to explain it._

_Me: Oh okay. Well are things getting better between you and that guy?_

I couldn't even type Beck's name out knowing that she STILL loved him.

_Jade: No. Not one single bit._

_Me: I'm sorry :/ do you guys talk at all?_

_Jade: No. We're just friends on the slap. But he won't even look at me at school._

_Me: I'm really sorry. Have you tried talking to him?_

_Jade: I do sometimes. We sit at the same table at lunch so I try sometimes when he's talking to everyone else but he usually disregards me._

_Me: Oh :/ I wish I could do something to help you. What made everything so rough between you guys? You don't have to answer if you don't want to._

_Jade: I wish I could tell you, but I honestly have no idea what happened. One day he just decided he didn't love me anymore._

_Me: Oh gosh... that's really hard. I wish I could give you advice or something, but I'm absolutely horrible when it comes to dealing with guys._

_Jade: It's okay sweetheart, so am I._

_Me: How long ago was your relationship?_

_Jade: May 12. And I am still miserable._

WHAT?! May 12? It's freaking November now! Jade's never going to get over Beck Oliver...

_Me: Oh wow... I'm sorry :/ We always want what we can't have, ad it's the hardest thing ever. Eventually, if we want to cross the ocean, we have to gain the courage to lose sight of the shore. Hopefully that made sense..._

_Jade: That made perfect sense haha. I don't ever want to be in a relationship again._

That was a stab to my heart. I don't even get a chance with her?

_Me: That's a shame. A beautiful girl like you deserves to have somebody... I hope someone comes along and sweeps you off your feet because it would be so sad if you remained miserable your whole life because of him._

_Jade: It's not just him. It's a combination of things really._

_Me: Oh, like what?_

_Jade: I can't explain it. It's a lot._

_Me: Oh okay. Well I've got time if you want to try to explain it._

I looked at my clock on my bedside table. I had moved from my brother's closet to my bed a few hours ago. It was 2:03am. I started to realize how exhausted I was, but what's an hour longer going to do? I stayed up and continued talking to her. I was too depressed to sleep anyways.

_Jade: I don't even think I can explain it. I knew when I started to have feelings for Beck that I should just leave it alone 'cause I'm not good with relationships and I don't like guys and I took a shot and now I'm miserable._

I was pissed. So what, it didn't work out ONCE. Boo hoo. I'm not a guy though... I'm different.. I could make her so so happy...

_Me: Ohh. You took a shot and it didn't work out. That doesn't mean that it won't work eventually. If you don't ever try again, you won't know. One of my favorite quotes is "To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing." _

_Jade: See, I'm that little bitch that once I get hurt, I contract and I don't let it happen again. Therefore I don't want to take chances anymore 'cause now I'm angry and confused and upset and I can't move on despite how strong I claim to be._

_Me: Okay, I understand. I'd like to be here as a band-aid to help you with your wounds. I know they probably won't heal, but I want to try. Not in a romantic way or anything, but as a friend. If you ever need anything, I'm here. I'm extremely exhausted though. So I'm going to bed, sweet dreams. Goodnight beautiful._

I looked at my phone for the time. _3:15am._

_Jade: Thank you for that. And I am too. Sweet dreams_

I realized something before I closed my eyes. It's true... not all hearts heal. I don't think mine will heal either.

I laid in bed, cleared my thoughts of everything, and then drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: Sorry that was a really long chapter! Well, tell me what you think! XOXO**


	10. Chapter 10: Forever

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Victorious.**

**A/N: So sorry for the long wait! I've been really busy! Things have been up and down and I thought I knew myself, but going through a bunch of these things is making me realize that I hardly know who I am. Well, I hope everyone's had a great Christmas and Happy New Year! **

**CHAPTER 10: Forever.**

Thanksgiving break was over, and I had to got to stupid school today. Ugh! I felt as if I didn't understand anything anymore. I'd got to school, see Jade, and nothing would happen. We made eye contact occasionally and I'd feel a rush of electricity flow through my body, but that was it.

Life was boring and I began to wonder what life was really about. It's like all everyone cares about is love and getting the right person to love them. That's all I ever hear about. _"Oh I like this person", "Oh I like that person", "That person likes me" blah, blah, blah. _Does anyone care about other things anymore.

I laid in bed trying to drown my thoughts in music. _Music. _That's what's better than love! I smiled at my realization but then thought about how music can't be made without love and my smile faded. I hopped off my bed and went to my bookshelf to see if reading might clear my thoughts. I slid my finger across the book bindings as I read each title. My finger stopped when I read _Holy Bible._ God is definitely more important than love! I opened the bible to a random page and began to read. As I read more and more, all I kept seeing was the word _love._

After thinking about why love is so important in the first place, I realized what time it was and my eyes began to get heavy. I closed them and turned of my lamp on my bedside table. It was so quiet in my room that I could hear my heart beating in my chest. As I listened to its rhythm, I finally thought of the reason the world revolves around love. Love is all everyone thinks about is because the heart is the strongest organ in the body.

* * *

Oh thank God! Only one more week until winter break. My days have consisted of going to school, seeing Jade at her locker in the morning, getting through the school day with Jade in a few of my classes, going home, eating, and sleeping. Although I saw Jade a lot, we still never made contact for the past few weeks. All my hard work that I had done to try to build a relationship with Jade was beginning to crumble, not that I had really built much.

When winter break came, I mainly just stared at her contact in my phone, tempted to text her. I couldn't though. If my obsession with her continued like this, I'd just be like a fan thinking I could date their celebrity. It'd be so hopeless. Also, my self-esteem kept lowering. I pondered about why I wasn't good enough for her. I heard her say that she liked me! Why did she just push me away?

Christmas had arrived and all I wanted was a "Merry Christmas" text from Jade. I never got it though. I felt as if I never got what I wanted. Then, I remembered all the bible reading I had done. _"Thou shalt not want..."_

Ugh! Who cares what the bible says?! _I do. _The Bible is all I had without love at the moment. Once you're in love, it's really hard to find another person to love. If you can move on easily, then it's not love. I understood where Jade was coming from now. It's not that she didn't like me. She just loved that boy, Beck. She may even love him forever. I sure know that I'll love her forever.

**A/N: I know, I know. Short chapter. I apologize! This sums up this part of the story though. The next chapters will take place in the future. The next chapter shouldn't be as long of a wait as this one! So sorry it took me so long to write. XOXO**

**Also, I wanted to dedicate all of my love to someone very special. Someone I met exactly a year ago today. I started talking to her, here on fanfiction January 4, 2012. A lot has happened since then. We fell in love. Had the best relationship ever imaginable. Then, it crumbled. I will do whatever I can to build it all the way to the top again though. I am willing to work so hard for this. I love you with all my heart Zoe.**


End file.
